In this very special series of exclusive articles for The Property Chronicle, Australian property legend Norman Harker reflects on his extraordinary 50-year life in real estate. He will pull no punches partly because, as he freely admits, Norman has a limited life expectancy of five years from December 2018 due to a diagnosed terminal blood cancer, which he has cheerfully accepted in preference to (in his words) “kicking the bucket without notice”. We are honoured he has chosen us to publish these brilliant, funny and incisive reflections of a lifetime in property.

I was no Gandalf. I did have a ring we won’t talk about, because in Australia ‘ring’ = slang for ‘nether orifice’.

Administrators and their acolytes increasingly became the bane of my life worse than Balrog. Even in retirement, on the advent of bad health, non-doctor or nurse qualified administrators became the new bane of my life that I have fun in challenging. I also saw the same happening in the property profession.

We had had battles with Professor Emeritus Graeme Swain. But he ran a tight and efficient ‘shop’ with three superbly efficient administrators: Noel Burnett, Meg McCormick and Brian Lindsay. As course (or coarse) co-ordinator, I covered ‘hatching, processing and despatching students’. It was an elected position – other ‘real’ academics just wanted to get on with education, research and publication. All except Muggins took one step back when volunteers were called for.

I could influence the programme. Early, I noted that females were a small percentage of the intake. Easy! 

I concentrated my coarse promotion on all-girls private schools. (Many school entrants had previously come from the all-boys private schools.) 

The female ratio shot up. Most in the university put it down to my personal beauty and charm, or lust.